i wish i came up with this

things we forget

The wisdom of others

“The whole exchequer of God shall be made over by deed of gift to the soul which is humble enough to be able to receive it without growing proud because of it. God blesses us all up to the full measure and extremity of what it is safe for him to do. If you do not get a blessing, it is because it is not safe for you to have one. If our heavenly Father were to let your unhumbled spirit win a victory in his holy war, you would pilfer the crown for yourself, and meeting with a fresh enemy you would fall a victim; so that you are kept low for your safety. When a man is sincerely humble, and never ventures to touch so much as a grain of praise, there is scarcely any limit to what God will do for him. Humility makes us ready to be blessed by the God of all grace, and fits us to deal efficiently with our fellow men… whether it be prayer or praise, whether it be work or suffering, the genuine salt of humility cannot be used in excess.”- Charles Spurgeon

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“You may not come here anymore with your hard and abusive thoughts, with your plague ships of thoughts, with your slave ships of thoughts, with your warships of thoughts- all these will be turned away. Likewise, any thoughts that are filled with angry or starving exiles, with malcontents and pamphleteers, mutineers and violent assassins, desperate prostitutes, pimps and seditious stowaways- you may not come here anymore, either. Cannibalistic thoughts, for obvious reasons, will no longer be received. Even missionaries will be screened carefully, for sincerity. This is a peaceful harbour, the entryway to a fine and proud island that is only now beginning to cultivate tranquility. If you can abide by these new laws, my dear thoughts, then you are welcome in my mind- otherwise, I shall turn you all back toward the sea from whence you came. That is my mission, and it will never end.” – Elizabeth Gilbert, “Eat, Pray, Love”

Quote of the evening to chew upon

There will never be any more perfection than there is now.

(Walt Whitman)

I met my Truth Living group today. Most of them seemed rather quiet and shy at first, but once we got talking, I sensed deep conviction in them that was truly inspiring. There was a lady, who though avoided eye contact most of the time, spoke sincerely of her purpose was and how she was doing it. Never shying away from responsibility and remembering to be a good testimony to her parents. I was truly encouraged.

And again 1 Samuel 16:7 rang out to me, the verse we always think we understand but never really the fullness of it: “the Lord looks at the heart.” It reminded me of of my own superficiality. How I spend way too much time with impression management, rather than heart management. I was reminded of how unique and special God has made each of us, and to stop my natural tendency to put people into boxes.

It’s so important to me to keep meeting people different from me, and from all walks of life. It’s a big fear for me now to get too used to any social construct. Sometimes I wonder if being in SMU has made me a more superficial person. Because whenever I meet people outside of this system, when all the appearances and talk are put aside, I am forced to remember what is truly important in life. I am grateful for SMU in a great number of ways, but sometimes it bothers me because being in it too long makes one start to think that you have to be a certain type of person in order to “succeed”, whatever that may mean, and fixed ideas of what gives a person value.

That’s why I’m grateful for my job, because it caters to this need: I will be having to meet and work with people from a variety of backgrounds; never allowing me to feel either superior or inferior, among constantly overlapping social constructs- but just what God made me to be.

In life, eventually

We will regret the things we neglected to give, not get.

Or, as was aptly on a bookmark I bought for charity today,

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

My uncle-who-is-the-same-age, Jon, passed away on Thursday evening. I was blessed enough to have encountered him- when he came to Singapore for JC, and when he visited us a few times after. Small things like bringing him to church on these visits and my parents’ friends thinking he was my boyfriend.

And what struck me in the few times I talked to him was that he was one of those rare people that make you feel hope; hope that people like him exist, someone so sweet-natured and good. Someone who exuded joy in the little things many of us take forgranted, like how appreciative he was of the food whenever my parents took him out to eat.

And blessed not just by him, but his entire family as well, who showed me much through this period. His sisters who took care of him tirelessly and being strong for their mum. Always asking about what was going on in our lives whenever we visited. His mum, who happens to be a lady who is both beautiful and extremely kind. His dad who, though one of few words, was holding up the family with such courage during this time. His girlfriend who, despite what she had been going through, still exuded such warmth.

The last time I saw  him weeks ago, he was painfully thin and tired from his long flight- and still he had a big smile for all of us.

Too soon? I like to think that God has an important assignment for him, and it was absolutely critical that it had to be Jon. I saw God through your life, Jon. And I’m sure I wasn’t the only one. And I thank you so much for that.

As I stood awkwardly near the end of the simple service before all off them flew home, not certain how to comfort, Jon’s mum came up to me and gave me a hug, I embarassedly thinking it should have been the other way round. In her grief, she still gave. “Love each other,” she told me. These simple words mean more now.

Thanksgiving Monster Post #2

This break also included the Forging of the Girl Fellowship, for lack of a better name. Started as a Facebook online bible study group that never got off the ground. :b It’s now a accountability/cell group of sorts where we come together to make sure our hearts are in the right place, discuss relevant topics, and simply to enjoy each others ‘ company. Ning, Alaska, Helen- I’m so glad we decided to finally to do this! You are much loved. (:

Thanksgiving Monster Post #1

Today was supposed to be my first day of work, but lo and behold, I’m down with fever and sore throat, the first time I’m falling sick all year. I actually don’t feel that bad, just a little achy and feverish, but decided to stay home as precaution. Not the best idea in the world to infect the whole office on the first day of work. It’s not going to be a wasted day anyhow. Today is dedicated to rest and looking back in the spirit of thanksgiving, i.e. monster post ahead (:

It’s been more than three months since I finished school, and though I may not have felt that way entirely at that time, the break has been truly a testimony of God’s grace.

I attended Ning’s graduation in Charlottesville, Virginia, and in the process, got to visit some of the most beautiful and inspiring places on earth.

Potluck on the first night

“Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.”
(Elizabeth Bibesco)

Food for thought

“Our greatest fear… should not be of failure, but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.”

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO A VERY DEAR SISTER!